Personal Renaissance
With the soon-to-be cherry
blossoms filling the evening air, migrating birds are traveling
again, raccoons are going to be making babies along as many other
creatures and soon night and day will also mate as equals, birthing a
new cycle.
The spring equinox is here: the very beginning of the natural cycle
of life and death.
The southern coast of BC starts to blossom into spring early compare
to the rest of Canada. By early March, everywhere you look, early
signs of spring are proliferating.
“Know now, at once,
Atoms in all worlds everywhere
Are fire-dancing out of their minds
For the love of Him
When I see your face, the stones start spinning.
Your robe brushes a thorn bush and a deep chord of music sounds.
A red glint occurs in a granite outcrop and the whole cliff turns to
ruby!
This crazy, ecstatic dancing is the One reality - storm after storm
of passion on a bed of peace.” Rumi
Receiving the new. Welcoming the unknown into every moment. Everyday
we are new born babes suckling on the breast of the universe. Our
cells are in a constant renewal process. The unlimited potential of
the life force is continually in transformation. Nothing remains the
same; everything is in a state of flux.
Change is inevitable; it is an immutable law inherent within the
manifestation of the phenomenal world. While accommodating forces
undergo transformation with little struggle, resistance to change
creates crisis, the stronger the resistance the bigger the crisis.
The seasons can be transposed into our human life cycle: spring
spreads from our conception until adolescence; summer expand into the
radiance of adulthood; fall retreats into the mellowness of maturity
and winter carries us to the end of the cycle leading to more
transformations and transfigurations.
The transition between these cycles is often experienced as a crisis
for many of us unless we are well versed in the art of acceptance and
fluidity. Rebirth is impossible without death. The inability or
unwillingness to accept the innumerable little deaths happening on an
on-going basis can create intense inner suffering and/or extreme
numbness.
Even though one does not have to undergo a “dark night of the soul”
to savor a personal renaissance, a crisis will provide the shock
needed to break the ego’s grip. When the tower of the ego is
destroyed, with its pride, vanity and pretenses one can feel very
raw, tender and shaken to the bones. This is not an easy process.
To be attuned to the mother of necessity, honesty is essential. And
being honest naturally connects us with the never-ending cycle of
beginnings and endings. The question: “What is really going on here?”
will bring the purpose of the moment to the foreground. Especially
when the events or our emotions/behavior are not to our liking.
Asking this question, allows a shift in perceptions. Giving us the
ability to see through the veil of our resistance and attachment to
what should be.
“At my age I should have figured this out!” I told myself a few
months ago, as I contemplated a particular issue in my life. An ideal
self-image has a lot of ‘should’ and it can be maintained for a long
time, until our lives feel like a lie. We learned to behave in
certain ways in order to please others, we chose our profession to
comply with our parent’s wishes, we get married to fit in, and we lie
instead of telling the truth. Behind this imposture can be a belief
that we are not lovable and a fear of being exposed as we are. We
build a façade that not only protect us from what we consider bad but
also prevents us from being in the flow with the ever-changing life
force.
Our true authentic self might not fit with our ideal self-image. For
example, one might have an image of oneself as being “good”. This
ideal of goodness will create an opposing, dualistic force of
“badness”. This belief will bring on fear and guilt whenever
thoughts, feelings or behavior labeled as “bad” emerge in others or
in the self. Then a process of covering up or blaming happens in
order to maintain the image of goodness, and this further creates
more guilt. It is a cycle that usually builds until a crisis happens
to bring one more in touch with the true self.
Authenticity is beyond judgment of good and bad. The denial of
negativity leads to wishful thinking, the denial of self and the
repression of the life force. Without justifying or condoning
negativity, learning to acknowledge and evaluate our less desirable
aspects of self will allow integration of what may be called the
“shadow” side. It is a difficult process but without this lucid
awareness and radical sincerity one cannot develop to one’s full
potential.
This last year has been intense for me. I was tested on my abilities
to apply all these things I teach and believe in. After months of
feeling uneasy and very uncomfortable with my life, I realized I was
undergoing such a crisis. Everything I was attached to collapsed. All
the strategies that used to work did not work anymore. I experienced
loss on so many levels that after a while I had nowhere to turn but
inward. My idealized self-image did not fit my life.
So I went in and further in, into a deep state of inquiry, I asked
myself “What is really going on here?” And all the loss, the deceit,
the pain showed me where I was not able to let go, where I was
resisting the life force and where I was not sincere.
I am grateful to have received wise guidance. I now wake to the new
day enthused again, nothing much has changed on the outside but I can
hear the birds and I am more at peace with myself as I am at the
beginning of a new cycle. And peace of mind is such a gift!
Tips for a glorious self-renaissance
Die before you die
Let go of what is no longer, wake up to the new day. Let go of old
grievances and grudges.
Be honest with yourself
Live according to inner guidance. Have the courage to speak your
truth. Fully acknowledge your feelings, especially those you label
as “bad” without condoning, rationalizing or excusing. Neither
acting them out, repressing or denying them but accepting them as
part of your experience. Ask the question: ”What is really going on
here?” and take a moment to receive inner guidance, breathing
deeply in a state of receptivity. This can be a stepping-stone to
open your life further, and help redirect the life force in a
constructive way.
Be kind to yourself
Relax, practice yoga, Qi Gong and meditation everyday, eat healthy
foods, avoid toxins, surrender to the flow, commune with nature,
simplify your life, say no when you need to, accept yourself as you
are.
Surprises
Surprise yourself and others with a behavior out of your usual
ways: eat with your left hand if you usually eat with your right,
say “thank you” in a different language. Make room in your life for
unexpected happenings
Say good-bye to the old
Look around you right now and find 5 objects that you do not need.
Get rid of them, give them away. Do the same with your clothes, CD
collection, books. Everything you do not use, let it go.
Do a cleanse
In spring, the body moves into a cycle of rebuilding and cleansing
various organs and systems. March 11 through May 22 is a good time
to do a cleanse especially for the liver and gall bladder. See
Spring 2006 issue for insight on cleansing.
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